Where have I Been?: My Eating Disorder...

Hi all, 

Now as promised I am going to explain exactly where I have been for the past few weeks, but, before I start I just want to say if you are going to find this post offensive then by all means click off the page and don't read it I'm simply explaining as promised where I have been to those who are interested. 

So before I begin on the actual disorder I thought I'd give a little background. I began to develop my eating disorder after my mum was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. I am the oldest of all my siblings and this hit me pretty hard. At this point in my life I felt like my life was spiralling out of control, and I slowly developed and eating disorder during the next month following my mum's diagnosis. My disorder later went on unnoticed for another three and a half years until my dad found some wrappers from one of my binges, and after a tough day at school, and whilst going through a tough patch with a lot of my closest friends I told him exactly what had happened. At this point my mum was about to go back in for more surgery so we decided to keep the details between ourselves whilst having me agreeing to seeking professional help. To be honest from this point on for a few months I was recovering well, I was sick less and less and I was getting back to myself, back into shape and back into my social life as well as my relationships and school. 

However in early April I relapsed rather badly, and instead of telling anyone immediately I kept it to myself. As a result things got continually worse progressing throughout my exams until the last day when I went out and someone realised there was something really wrong with me. So a few weeks ago I booked myself into a out-patient recovery plan to get my rehabilitation back on track. One of the recommendations that was made to me was to cut myself off from blogging until I was ready to discuss my illness and so that is what I have done, to prove to myself just how serious I am about recovering for good. 

I would also like to say that I never became bulimic to lose weight, it was always about the sense of control it gave me when the rest of my life was a mess, and any of you out there who are thinking of doing so, don't. It is a sickness and it is terrible for your body, not even to mention your mind. The only way to lose weight healthily, with lasting results is to eat well and get active. And to any of you out there who are recovering or need a person to talk to, comment, I wish there was someone who had been in the exact situation I had been in when I was recovering. 

I know this is a pretty heavy theme for a post but I hope you understand that this was more for me personally expressing how I felt about the situation, and explaining where I had been than anything else..we will be back to fashion and beauty tomorrow promise!

Thanks for your support guys! Love you all 

xxx